Désir

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An iced coffee sits in front me it drips on the table,  whiskey stings my throat. The windows are open and the silk drapes are caught in a gentle breeze, the clouds are grey. Rain drizzles down the window pane to the melody of faint music. 

Another day racing beyond my grasp. Notebooks scatter in front of me, fleeting emotions captured, pulled apart and disposed of.

I haven’t been writing as much as I would like to. I almost feel disappointed in myself. I had promised to start writing a book, I got past the first paragraph, then the first page, then the fifth, though after that words fell apart. Just like life, i’m good with the introduction, i’m good with dreaming and ideas, though when it comes to reality, what should happen next, my fabricated wall of day dreamed lies fall apart and the harsh reality drowns me. 

I might go for a walk later, get a coffee, watch people pass me by. 

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Toni-Yvonne

My coffee blog –  Uno Cappuccino

The rotten apple


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“Kindness and compassion towards all living things is a mark of a civilized society. Conversely, cruelty, whether it is directed against human beings or against animals, is not the exclusive province of any one culture or community of people. ”

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This is not going to be like my other posts, there are no intricate sentences weaving dreamlike thoughts of life, this post just is.

I have always held the belief that a society should be judged on how they treat their innocents, children and animals, two beings almost completely at our mercy – physically as well as many times mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

Lately, more and more cases of child abuse, rape and murder have been reported, and the number of cases of sick animal abuse and exploitation have shot up. Is our society rotting from the core? What can be done to stop, or at least help? Why is this happening?

The following pictures and videos may disturb you, I know they disturb me. Though, this is the truth of animal abuse. This cannot be sugar coated, this is a cancer of our society that must be cut out. (I focus on animal abuse mainly in the post simply for the fact animals strongly resonate with my heart)

ELLIOTT - Hornsby Local Court - taken 27Oct10

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Now to end with something positive:

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Toni-Yvonne

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This too shall pass كله ماشي‎

Peace, in the sense of the absence of war, is of little value to someone who is dying of hunger or cold. It will not remove the pain of torture inflicted on a prisoner of conscience. It does not comfort those who have lost their loved ones in floods caused by senseless deforestation in a neighboring country. Peace can only last where human rights are respected, where people are fed, and where individuals and nations are free. – The XIVth Dalai Lama

I hold in my hand a new book, at the back of the crowded bus I secretively sniff the pages as the hot evening sun filters through the windows and the faint moon patiently waits in the cloudless sky. This moment in time now carved into my past along with the countless other daily emotions I experience. 

In my 18 years of life, from concious memory – I remember no time without terrorists, wars, bombings, conflicts, tears, pain and immense global suffering. At this very second I feel so far removed from it all, walking through the humid air of the evening, yet it is all around me. From the violence and sufferings that has happened in my own life, I have learned if not one thing; this too shall pass.

Change is ever present and all around us, it is the only constant and inevitable cycle. 

To change something on such a global spectrum will take time, yet ticking time goes by so fast. Not just time, it will also take people to wake up, to stand up and and to speak the truth – and it will probably not be said through words. 

Toni-Yvonne

Sketching my Map

At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with ones lost self. – Brendan Francis 

The pale blue sky stretches in to eternity above me, the moon faintly forms a crescent and the sun sets to the west. An aeroplane flies past, it almost seems fake, unrealistic as it glides to the pink clouds. “I wonder where they are going? Who’s on board” I muse to myself. 

Through out my life I have been there, gliding thousands of feet above the reality below. If not a majority of each year  was spent shuffling through one airport to the next. It has become my comfort zone, I walk through airports, with the lost travellers looking for direction, foreign languages intoxicate the air, I feel at peace. 

A huge sense of relief spreads through me as I sit in the lounges, coffee in hand, jet lagged and exhausted. The exhaustion turns into my fuel, a promise of a new adventure, a new beginning my drug. 

For the majority of my life, I have been neither here nor there, running away from my past and myself. With the thick humid air of the deserts that stretch beyond me, I flutter. 

It is only when you are lost, that you can find yourself. 

Toni-Yvonne